Understanding parental OCD : How cognitive behavioural therapy can help

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is stereotypically thought to be an obsession with cleanliness, along with a compulsion to repeat actions or sayings. Those traits can certainly be part of it, but it can also include any of the following:

·       Fear of contamination resulting in washing repeatedly.

·       Checking and rechecking as a result of doubt that it was correct in the first place

·       Ordering – placing anything in order to counteract any negative thought or actions.

·       Obsessing – experiencing distressing intrusive thoughts or fears

·       Hoarding – experiencing the urge to buy things and a difficulty to discard items.

·       Neutralising – using words, sayings or actions that counteract the bad thought or action.

Common themes in all of these is the doubt that the anxiety creates, and reassurance seeking from others.

What is Parental OCD?

Parental OCD is a specific form of OCD where intrusive thoughts and compulsions revolve around fears of harming or failing their children. It presents as distressing and intrusive thoughts about one's child, accompanied by compulsive behaviours aimed at reducing anxiety or preventing perceived harm.

Common symptoms include:

• Intrusive thoughts: Fears of accidentally harming your child, contaminating them, or being responsible for their suffering.

• Compulsive behaviours: Excessive checking (e.g., monitoring the child's breathing), avoidance (e.g., refusing to be alone with the child, or letting them out of your sight), seeking reassurance, or performing rituals to "neutralise" distressing thoughts.

• Emotional distress: Intense guilt, shame, or anxiety about having intrusive thoughts, even though the parent does not act on them.

  
  

These symptoms can be incredibly disruptive, affecting a parent's well-being, relationships, and ability to care for their child effectively.

How cognitive behaviour therapy can help:

As a structured, evidence-based approach, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helps individuals challenge and change unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours using:

1. Education

Understanding OCD and how it operates is the first step in treatment. Parents learn that intrusive thoughts are normal, and having them does not make them dangerous or unfit caregivers.

2. Cognitive Restructuring

This involves identifying and challenging irrational beliefs about their thoughts and parenting abilities. Parents work with a therapist to reframe their fears in a more balanced, realistic way.

3. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)

ERP is a core technique in CBT that helps individuals confront their fears without engaging in compulsions. For example, a parent who avoids being alone with their child due to fear of harming them may be gradually exposed to these situations while resisting the urge to seek reassurance or perform safety behaviours.

4. Mindfulness and Acceptance Techniques

Mindfulness helps parents develop a different relationship with their thoughts, allowing them to observe intrusive ideas without reacting to them emotionally. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), often integrated into CBT, encourages parents to accept uncertainty and focus on their values rather than fear-driven behaviours.

With the right tools and support, parents can reclaim their confidence without the constant burden of anxiety. CBT empowers parents to break free from obsessive fears and fully embrace the joys of parenting.

If you are, or someone you know is experiencing parental OCD then get in touch for a free discovery call. You can either send a message from the home page of my website or email amy_langshaw@outlook.com.