Tips for parents: Mental wellbeing for the summer holidays

Summer holidays can bring joy, but they can also feel intense and emotionally taxing. Through my training and experience I have learned that Cognitive Behaviour Therapy helps parents to work with our thoughts, not against them, and to restructure our beliefs and behaviours so they support—not sabotage— wellbeing.

Parents with child on a beach near the sea.

With that in mind, here are some useful tips for parents to prepare for your summer:

1. Try recognising and challenging unhelpful thoughts, for example:

•            Common thought traps I experienced when my boys were little,: “I have to entertain the kids every minute or I’m failing.” Or “Other mums can manage better than me.”

•            A CBT strategy I discovered is to identify this as ‘all-or-nothing’ thinking and making comparisons. You can challenge it: “Is that true?” “Are there other ways to be a good parent without constant entertainment?”

•            Then reframe that thought to manage unrealistic expectations: for example “Creating space for boredom can help my children grow in creativity and independence.” “I am doing my best and that’s good enough.”

2. Plan, but stay flexible

• When managing anxiety you want certainty and control which isn’t always achievable, especially when you’re a parent: Uncertainty or unstructured time doesn't mean chaos—it can mean opportunity.

• Break time into manageable blocks (e.g., morning, afternoon, evening) instead of planning whole days.

• Prepare for flexibility: ask, “What’s the worst that could happen if plans change?” and build in buffer time to reduce stress.

  
  

3. Monitor your self-talk

• Summer can heighten self-criticism and making comparisons: “I should be more patient,” “Other parents do more with their kids”.

• Practice compassionate self-talk: Talk to yourself as you would to a close friend. For example: “I’m doing my best with the energy and resources I have today.”

  
  

4. Schedule small pockets of recovery time

• Mental wellbeing isn't just about endurance—it’s about regular recharging.

• Using CBT’s behavioural activation principle: plan pleasurable and meaningful activities for yourself, even if brief (e.g., 15 minutes of reading, a walk alone, coffee with a friend).

• Other parents I have worked with report that, by allowing themselves to have these breaks without the added guilt and inner critic of “I should be doing more”, they found it improved their mood and reduced irritability.

  
  

5. Set realistic expectations

• Identify your core values (e.g., connection, calm, fun) and align expectations with those, not with social media or peer pressure.

• Use a CBT technique called “cost-benefit analysis” when tempted to overcommit or compare yourself: What are the pros and cons of saying yes to more activities vs. conserving energy?

  
  

6. Name and normalise emotional responses

• Feeling overwhelmed, worn out, or frustrated doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human.

• Use emotion labelling: “I notice I am feeling irritable because I haven’t had space today”  to create emotional distance and reduce reactivity. Raising your awareness of how you feel gives you space to make a choice on how you would like to respond rather than react in that moment.

• Teach and model this skill with kids too—it’s grounding for the whole family.

  
  

7. Try the STOPP technique in the moment

When emotions spike:

• S: Stop.

• T: Take a breath.

• O: Observe what you’re thinking and feeling.

• P: Pull back—what’s the bigger picture? What else is going on? How would you like to respond in this situation that is helpful to you and others?

• P: Practice what works—choose a helpful response.

This technique can prevent reactive parenting and promote mindful choices.

8. Keep a thought diary or mood log

• Regularly jotting down triggering situations, your automatic thoughts, and alternative balanced thoughts can help you catch recurring patterns. Using a mood log you could note the situation, the activity or time of day and your mood to also identify patterns.

• This also builds self-awareness and helps you intervene earlier.

• There is no right or wrong way to do this, it can be done in a notebook or on your phone, at any time in the day, just experiment until you find what works for you.

  
  

9. Accept Imperfection

• Use Acceptance (an ‘acceptance commitment therapy’ concept): Some days will be messy, loud, or disappointing. That’s not a failure—it’s part of the full experience of parenting.

• You can validate your struggle while still committing to act in line with your values.

☀️ Putting new strategies into practice

• Start Small: Begin by incorporating one or two CBT techniques into your routine. Gradually build on these practices as you become more comfortable.

• Be Consistent: Consistency is key to reaping the benefits of CBT. Make a commitment to practice CBT techniques regularly, even when life gets busy.

• Seek Support: Consider joining a support group, or seeking guidance from a therapist trained in CBT. Sharing experiences and learning from others can enhance your practice.

• Track Progress: Keep a journal to document your thoughts, feelings, and progress. Reflecting on your journey can provide insights and motivation.

• Stay Open-Minded: Be willing to try different CBT techniques and adjust them to fit your unique needs and circumstances.

Support recommendations:

• CBT Therapy with Amy - message me for a free discovery call to learn more about how Cognitive Behaviour Therapy can help you.

• Mamas little black book -   Mama's Little Black Book- Community for Parents and Experts

Book recommendations:

• Fear Less: how to win at life without losing yourself by Dr Pippa Grange – Learning about and managing anxiety

• Why has nobody told me this before? By Dr Julie Smith – “life skills for difficult times to thrive and grow”

• Raising a happier child mother by Anna Mathur – learning about and managing some of the common emotions parents might struggle with.

Image by Maria Maltseva from Pixabay