Why 'embracing change' is good for you.

Embracing change opens the way for growth and transformation, while resisting it can lead to stress and stagnation. Change is a constant in the world. Take this summer for example, with the excessive heat and lack of water, nature needed to change and adapt to survive.

October and Autumn is a time when the natural world already begins to quiet down as we change through the seasons. Following nature's rhythms, this season can be a time to pause and reflect. A chance for personal growth, letting go of what no longer benefits us and inviting fresh perspectives and experiences into our lives.

Change can be frightening even when we know something needs to change. Finding ourselves clinging to what is familiar, worrying about what might happen, or feeling overwhelmed by the uncertainty of what comes next. Our minds often prefer certainty and predictability. Nature can remind us that change isn’t something we can avoid, it is part of life.

Instead of “How can I stop change from happening?” perhaps the question we could ask ourselves is “How can I learn to feel more comfortable with change?”

Change and Chance - letter blocks

Why change feels so difficult:

Our brains are constantly trying to make sense of the world and keep us safe. Familiar situations require less mental effort because we already know what to expect.

Uncertainty can trigger ‘What if…’ thoughts like

·       “What if it goes wrong”

·       “what if I can’t cope”

·       “What if I make the wrong decision.“

·       “What if I fail”

·       “What if things get worse afterwards”

Sometimes these thoughts can be so loud that we then avoid change completely.

We may stay in a job we are unhappy in, remain in familiar routines that no longer work for us, avoid difficult conversations, all because the alternative feels too uncertain.

Avoiding situations from fear of change will bring you short term relief but keeps you stuck.

How can Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) help?

CBT encourages us to explore the link between our thoughts, behaviours and emotions, and fosters curiosity to explore what your options are, and how you can move forward rather than avoid.

For example:

Situation: considering applying for a new job

Thought: “I’ll probably fail the interview, what if it’s the wrong job for me”

Feeling: anxious, self-doubt

Behaviour: don’t apply for the job

Short term consequence: relief, the anxiety reduces

Long term consequence: nothing changes, you remain in the job you don’t enjoy, the belief that ‘I can’t cope with change’ is reinforced.

With the help of a therapist you can explore this train of thought and begin to challenge it:

• “What is the evidence that this will happen, and that it won’t happen?”

• Are you trying to predict the future? – we’d all love a crystal ball for gaining certainty but so far I’ve yet to find one…

• What would you say to a friend in the same situation?

• What is actually within your control? – you can’t control the outcome of change but we can often control our preparation, our response, and choosing to reach out for support.

Change also doesn’t have to mean making a huge leap – you don’t have to completely change your life in one day.

What is one small thing you could do differently this week?

Small changes can build confidence and allow for new experiences that challenge unhelpful beliefs.

So what are the benefits of change:

You can….

·       Change without losing who you are

·       Discover strengths you didn’t know you had

·       Learn new things and habits

·       Leave behind habits that aren’t helpful

·       Meet new people

·       Welcome in new opportunities

·       Learn skills to adapt when life inevitably changes again.

This does not dismiss those life changes that are genuinely difficult, unwanted, and that may involve grief and loss. We are certainly not pretending that change is always positive. Instead we can ask ourselves “How can I support myself through this?”

Try this reflection for change:

·       What has changed in your life over this last year?

·       What have you learnt from this?

·       What are you doing differently?

·       What are you ready to let go of?

·       What would you like to grow?

·       What changes are you facing now?

·       What is one small thing you could do differently this week to move towards that change, or support yourself through it?

One of the most important things we can learn through both CBT and our natural world is that we don’t need to have certainty before we move forward.

You can take the next step whilst still feeling uncertain.

Change can feel uncomfortable, but it is also where growth, possibility and new experiences can begin.